April 19, 2023

Fayetteville, Ark.- Trans woman and activist speaks out about the struggles of being a mom and fighting to inspire others at the same time.

Abby Howard is not one to step down from a challenge. Being a parent of four, Howard is speaking out about how the most recent bill passed through the Arkansas State Legislature is affecting her as a transgender woman and parent.

Walking into any kid-friendly restaurant as a parent, the only thing most are focusing on are the safety of their own children and the sounds of laughter that run rampant through the restaurant.

“I have little kids. What? I’m going to tell them that they can’t go to Chick-Fil-A because of queer stuff? No. They’re going to go to Chick-Fil-A, okay?”

Senate Bill 270, which has most recently been passed states “To amend the criminal offense of sexual indecency with a child,” and it has made Howard feel targeted in a sense for doing something as simple as taking her children into a public restroom.

“So, the most recent bill … is they’re protecting minors… That’s my family that I’m taking to the bathroom. The juxtaposition whenever I read the plain language of the bill… it describes everything that I’m doing just in my normal everyday life, is illegal. It’s wild, it really is wild,” Howard said.

Prioritizing the well-being of her children comes first but it can become difficult when subjected to such harsh potential backlash, Howard said that she has to be watchful of the safety of her children and herself.

“I’m very mindful about when I’m going and where I’m going.”

Howard has spoken out about going out to other places in public where the LGBTQ+ community has not been the most welcomed and the empowerment that has come with that; restaurants being an example she used.

“Also, I find it to be a better protest. Me being in their presence. I’ll just go inside with the kids, I’ll hang out and do the whole thing because it’s important for everybody who works there, for that to be normalized. And if people like that don’t ever show up and aren’t around in those situations, then it’s not normalized. But because some of us show up and you’re there… those kids that are caught up in whatever…working there, they need to be able to see that. It’s important for them to see that,” Howard said.

Howard herself got the courage to finally transition through learning about her older children’s friends in school transitioning.

“I raised four kids. I got two step-kids that are older… and the oldest, he had two friends transition and just in his junior high, high school time period… I was 110% inspired by what I saw, the bravery of what those kids did, and how freeing it was.”

She has since felt a sense of responsibility to be a voice advocating for those who may be too scared to change and re-write their lives in the ways they dream of.

“Anything that’s hard on me and difficult for me, whatever those settings might be… I wanna be able to take on a lot of that hurt and pain and burden. Because anything that I do is only helping the next generation behind me. It’s only helping to normalize it for the next group of people that wanna do the same thing… And that in and of itself makes it 110% worth it. All of the trials and all of the tribulations,” Howard said.

Shedding some light, Howard comically recounted a memory she had with a stubborn woman in a grocery store.

Laughing, Howard recounted, “This old lady… she’s kinda bashing trans things and I said, “Look. Lady, didn’t you ever wanna be a guy?” And she’s like, “What? No, don’t want to be a guy.” And I said, “Me either.””

Currently working at Mount Sequoyah, Howard said that she feels as though she is accepted as she is- a human being. She doesn’t feel outcasted or treated any differently, something that sounds so simple but something she said she is thankful for.

Emily Gentry, the President and CEO of Mount Sequoyah Center talked about Howard and the non-profit’s overall support for the LGBTQ+ community.

“In 2021, we actually lit up the cross with rainbow colors in an effort to tell the community that they are welcome here. We want everyone to feel welcome at Mount Sequoyah, but we knew that the LGBTQ community, in particular, felt marginalized and had been marginalized by Mount Sequoyah.”

Howard came up with the idea for the light display on the cross as a means of inclusivity for LGBTQ+ people young and old searching for community.

Another ally in the fight for equality, Howard said that it was through the help of Pink House Alchemy, she was aided in her activism.

Recounting back when there was talk of passing a bill to ban drag shows (which was later dismissed), she saw how Pink House Alchemy had art posters outside of the café supporting drag shows and felt that it was important that somebody else participate in the defense of the LGTBQ+ community.

Driving home from work one day, spontaneity struck her, “And I was like, “Oh, well, that’s me. I guess I’m going to do that,” Howard said.

“I called them, and I was like, “Hey, let me play music in front of your parking lot and the banner that’s hanging there.” And they just let me do it.”

“But I just showed up the next day during rush hour and did like an impromptu little show and just for the defined reason because even that performance I was giving would have been outlawed based on the language of the bill because I do not dress or present myself as my assigned gender at birth. So doing that would mean that it would be against the law for me to do it in a public setting like that,” Howard said.

Howard sang songs and played the instruments she had in her car. She said that a crowd gathered in support, with her.

Ben Bosler, who has worked for Pink House Alchemy for nearly a year said, “It’s a women-owned business, it’s a queer-owned business, so that’s really special to me as a gay man.”

Welcoming the queer community and creating a type of safe space is important to this café.

“We all have a place here in America, we all have rights, and we all have equal rights. So, I think it’s awesome that we can express that here at Pink House Alchemy,” Bosler said.

Howard hopes that through all of this, peace will come out of it one day.

“You can hardly change the status quo without challenging the status quo. And we have been challenging the status quo since the information age really took in. And I actually hold a lot of optimism and a lot of hope that Gen Z and generations beyond them, I have tons of hope in them. They’re the ones that inspired me to do what I’m doing now,” Howard said.